Tag: proverbs

Quirky Thinker: This Woman Makes Me Tired! (Part B)

by melodeealexander

*DISCLAIMER: these comments are my own that derive from a subjective, quirky point of view and do not speak to the broader application of sacred texts. Lay aside any sensitivities or do not read further. Part A describes more about this series of posts.

v. 16. “She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.” (The first thing that strikes me is that even in this ancient time, this woman earns her own money and starts her own business! There is no mention that she consults with her husband or that she needs him to cosign for a purchase. Now, I LIKE this one! What does she do?…She plants a vineyard. She doesn’t plant a garden to feed her family or raise chickens, she is a business woman. This solitary verse is one I like and embrace; however, in context of everything else she is doing, I wonder who takes care of her children, teaches them to read, rocks them to sleep, or just cuddles with them because she is terribly busy. The beginning of the verse in the KJV uses the word “considereth” and I am so pleased that she thinks about it more than feeling the emotional pull of the property. The second portion of the verse mentions that she uses the “fruit of her hands” to plan a vineyard. That seems to me that she strategizes (thought again) and allocates her earnings from other endeavors to finance planting a vineyard for even more earning potential. Either way, I don’t know how this woman keeps up.)

v. 17. “She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.” (So, she works out? I am very literal, so this is where my mind goes. She does those “buns of steel” squats and lifts weights for her arm strength. I bet she doesn’t have the arm wings that I have when I write on the whiteboard of my class. Some of you know what I am talking about. I don’t know about you, but my arm muscles are struggling to be found. I can tighten them and find their location, but when I release the tension, they just fall to the bottom of my arm and dangle there. That’s it, I’m motivated to get back into whatever those exercises are that tighten my arm muscles. I feel an anointing, we should preach exercise! Just please don’t make it a Heaven or Hell issue because then we’ll have to create legislative measures to identify how often, how much, and what’s the consequence of not exercising. Then, I’ll feel guilt and sinful because I probably won’t fully live up to the requirements and rules. Okay, I know it’s silly and strange, but this is how my mind works. Just ignore it if you are feeling offended.)

v. 18. “She percieveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.” (I tell you this girl is not getting sleep! Do you know what happens when you don’t get enough sleep? Wrinkles! Maybe that’s why later in the text there is mention of beauty fading – THE WOMAN NEEDS SOME SLEEP! Anyway, we also get cranky if we don’t get enough sleep. With significant sleep loss, we can even hallucinate and have trouble thinking clearly. Maybe her “delight” comes from …never mind. I can go down every “maybe” road imaginable, but back on track now.)

v. 19. “She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.” (WHAT? I had no idea so I looked at the NASB again. It still makes no sense to me. She reaches out and her and takes hold of the spindle or distaff. Does that mean she takes charge of things? She takes responsibility for everything that needs to be done? If so, she’s a micromanager or a control freak. Again, I feel tired and I want to tell this woman to let it go! Be able to enjoy life and the moment you are given. Make memories with friends and family. Are you hiding behind your “good works” or “right-ness” of doing good things? Is this a defense mechanism? Why can’t she be okay with sitting for a spell or taking some time for calm and peace?)

v. 20. “She stretches out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” (This is nice. Does she have anything in her hand? Is she making connection with the poor and needy or is she giving them something? I can’t really tell. I like the idea of making connection because she can assist the poor and needy in finding ways to fulfill their need or overcome poverty even after she leaves. If she just brings things to the poor and needy then they become dependent on her and the “help” she gives ultimately only satisfies her own desire to “give.” Of course, there are some who simply need the necessities of life and cannot make changes that lead to their own ability to help themselves. Anyway, I get a little confused with her intention here. She’s getting much praise for extending her hand but what is she actually doing other than filling up her own time and possibly taking time away from her own family.)

v. 21. “She is not afraid of the snow for her household; for all her household are clothed with scarlet.” (Does this mean her family have red/scarlet clothes to wear so it’s more likely they’ll be found if they are lost in the snow? I really can’t tell about this one. Did she take scarlet clothes to the needy and poor too? Let me guess, she makes those clothes, right? UGH! She’s an overachiever if she does all of the sewing of clothes too!)

v. 22. “She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.” (Well, isn’t she flashy! Sounds like her business is going well, OR she is just showy.  I like that she wears quality clothing but if that’s required then I’m out. If you can’t buy it at Walmart or some online discount outlet, I might not own it. Nevertheless, how much of what she does is done with the idea or thought that she will be recognized for what she is doing? Maybe that’s perfectly legitimate and acceptable. I don’t know. She is “virtuous” and wears high quality, adorned clothing. That goes against so many conservative religions. It seems some teachings even suggest these two cannot coexist; the existence of one negates the other. Besides, where is she going in those fancy clothes? She gets up before the sun…no fancy clothes there. She cooks/bakes…no fancy clothes there. She tends her children….no fancy clothes there. She serves her husband….we won’t talk about clothes on this one. She works her vineyard fields…no fancy clothes there. Hmmm, why the fancy clothing?)

v. 23. “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.” (Oops! If a woman is virtuous, she’s married AND her husband is well known and respected? How is that a reflection of her? How can a woman be responsible for the integrity or image of others regarding her husband? In my Westernized mindset, he’s responsible for his own reputation. I support all actions of honesty and integrity, but I cannot keep him from hurting his own reputation. Besides, what is her husband doing “sitting” in the gates. GET UP! Go to work, buddy! The only way we know your wife sleeps is because the scriptures mention that she gets up early. Why aren’t you helping her with the children, with breakfast, with the vineyard…anything?! Get up and work. Since you are “known” at the gates, you must spend lots of time there. OKAY, maybe he owns a business there at the gates. Too harsh on the man?)

Quirky Thinker: This Woman Makes Me Tired! (Part A)

by melodeealexander

Quirky Thinker – The Virtuous Woman (Proverbs 31: 10-15, KJV)

*DISCLAIMER: these comments are my own and derive from a subjective, quirky point of view and do not speak to the broader application of these sacred texts. Lay aside any sensitivities or do not read further. These thoughts are not meant to demean God’s Word but to illustrate the potential first thoughts of quirky thinkers like me.

When I was a young child but old enough to start listening in church services, I began hearing about this “Virtuous Woman” written about in Proverbs. It has always seemed obvious to me that I am a quirky thinker and I just supposed I was the only one who interpreted things in such a way. Things that are not funny to others are funny to me. I get rushing thoughts of one-liners at very inappropriate times. Poetry makes no sense to me and I don’t see the need to read a novel or get lost in fantasy. I like pretty things, but I usually like the odd and solitary items in a collection, not the entire collection. I am all girl, but not girly. Church was the place where it seemed I heard much more from people about religion-related social expectations of the female kind. Mind you, I was diligent at seeking obedience to scripture and my religion, after all, everything was perceived (by me) as Heaven or Hell issues, and ain’t nobody wanting to go to Hell, right? I wanted to be good, but I just often didn’t fit in. Oops, see I have already in the first paragraph strayed from my original thought. This is also one of my patterns. I am easily distracted.

It seemed that every Mother’s Day at church we heard about this “Virtuous Woman” in Proverbs. When I was younger, I probably dismissed much of the scripture as applying to older women, at least old enough to marry. Once I got married, I began to dislike this woman of Proverbs a bit, and now I think I might be a little bitter toward her (humor intended). Let me take a minute to explain my quirky and immediate response to her.

Sometimes I just want to tell her, “Sit down and relax!”

V. 10 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” (My response is that if we can’t find her, she might be taking a nap or hiding from us. Leave her alone! I am not sure what the price of rubies has to do with finding this woman, but I suppose she is rare and precious. Whew! Maybe that means she has this type of virtue covered and I don’t need to be like her.)

V. 11 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” (Response: Of course he trusts her. She’s too busy to get into trouble. Does the second part mean that she takes care of all his needs as well? Is there such a thing as a “Virtuous Man” who serves his wife? Let’s talk about that!)

V. 12 She does her husband good “…all the days of her life.” (Response: I’m okay with that one if we can negotiate to “most day” or “many days” because I have already ruined the “all” option. Of course, at funerals, we always hear about the deceased and the many qualities, virtues, and generosities they brought to their world. Sometimes I must look at the funeral program to see if I am at the correct funeral. Yes, it’s kind and helpful to hear good things about the deceased. It’s one of those gracious things in our culture. Maybe in retrospect, someone will speak about me “always” being kind or something. That would be nice, but it would be funnier and befitting to my personality if you all just tell the truth at my funeral. Why did my brain go a funeral example?…that’s how it works.)

V. 13. “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.” (Response: Do they mean she goes out and finds bargains? Maybe she coupons? She works with her hands. I think I get that. I am not sure what else we have to work with. I like to work with my mind, but It’s apparently NOT the thought that counts, it’s the action that follows the thought. The NASB says this woman works “…with delight.” What!? Have you ever seen an overworked woman working with a genuinely delightful attitude? Okay, probably somewhere in time. Is that “delight” what she shows in public? I bet when she gets home she tells everyone that she is going to take a bath and get to bed, dinner is on them!)

V. 14. “She is like the merchant ships; she bringeth her food from afar.” (Response: First off, I hope you are not calling me fat by comparing me to merchant ships. Of course, that’s just a divergent thought that always runs through my head. I recognize that the analogy is about going away to get food. Why would I go “far” to get food when I can get it at any of the 3 grocery stores nearby? Does she get extra credit for going far away for food? Is there another option? It seems like she might get more credit and praise for raising her food at home. All I need is a Super Walmart or a good ol’ Texas HEB grocery store! Get me in and out of that store asap!)

v. 15. “She rises also while it is still yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.” (Response: Hooray, she DOES have help, right? She has maidens. So why aren’t they doing some of this workload? Anyway, she gets up before sunrise and feeds meat to her family? Why is the entire family up before sunrise? I think I might opt for a quick bowl of cereal. My husband doesn’t eat early in the day, so I have a great excuse for not doing this one. Of course, I’ve lost the opportunity to be “virtuous” in this regard. I hope she sleeps in some days. Here’s the thing, if you don’t want people to expect something of you then don’t do it consistently. If she does this every day or most days then it becomes the expected, typical behavior. It’s nice if she wants to do this, but you’ll get trapped, and others won’t learn how to do this if you always do it for them. I hope that makes sense to someone. SLEEP IN sometimes, girl! On the other hand, don’t get bitter about doing it if you have trained everyone that you will.)

MORE TO COME…